Dysfunctional gaming and the "Aha!" moment

I GM far more than I play, and as a GM I'm working to overcome a problem with "analysis paralysis"… I have trouble making decisions, because I'm trying to play the game like it's chess. I don't want to "make a wrong move" and I think through the long-term implications of every decision. I think way too long at chess, looking at the same moves over and over again, unable to decide which one is better. I do the same as a GM.

I thought that playing would be different, but I discovered that I'm just as bad as a player, if not worse. Playing is helping though. I'm finally managing to connect the things I know in my head with the fears I have about play.

I had a realization in the last session, where we're playing Spirit of the Century.

In this scene, one of the characters is incapacitating a guard, another is wrapped up with distracting other guards, and someone has to run aboard the plane and stop the pilot from taking off, but I'm the only character not doing anything. Because I couldn't decide on a course of action and pretty much chose "wait and see". Aboard the plane, where the "named" character (whatever you call a not-a-minion) is with an unknown number of minions and guns. Me? I'm Daniel Jackson from SG-1, except I don't even carry a gun… my top three skills are Academics, Investigation and Mysteries. I solve the puzzles, decipher the ancient languages, and activate the magic dohicky in the ancient tomb, much to the dismay of my companions. My top combat skill is at Fair… which isn't anything to write home about. I charged in anyway.

One of the players asked me why, when I was the "brain" of the group and there were two other characters optimized for combat, why did I go rushing into a clearly dangerous situation unarmed, without backup?

Why? Because it was the effen cool thing to do. I realized that I didn't care what happened to my character, so long as something happened, and I could see that we were quickly headed into another hour-long planning session about how we should assault the plane. Besides, I had 9 Fate Points in my stack, and a cool magical amulet set to "Use Mysteries as Fists" in a pinch, so long as I "don't mind" the side-effects. And read "don't mind" as "bring on the complications, baby!" I kicked ass, and I looked cool while doing it. But that's not the point… I could have gotten my face beaten to a pulp and been held hostage, and that would have been just as cool! Because it would have been dramatic, and it would have been action, and it would have been just plain fun. Losing can be fun when you have the right attitude.

Then the game bogged down into an hour-long, "What do we do with the defeated lackey we don't want to leave behind, but don't want to take with us?" BS session, which ultimately didn't matter. I knew it didn't matter, but I didn't seem to be able to communicate that. I kept thinking that everyone else ought to see that it didn't matter and they'd move on any minute now.

And do you see how that ties into my decision to just charge in? It's the exact same situation on a group level. Analysis paralysis. We needed to fly to Egypt, not debate the best way to keep the GM from sending this bad guy after us again… because if the GM wants to reintroduce this minor character, he's going to. This is pulp, even shooting him in the head (as non-pulpy as that would be) isn't a guarantee. It's not what matters… let's move on to what matters.

Like spending half an hour deciding whether to steal the plane we're currently standing in, or acquire a plane through our Century Club contacts. Oh, wait… that didn't matter either. What mattered was that we got to Egypt, because that's where the interesting stuff was going to happen. Were the implications of stealing the plane or hiring our own important to the story? No matter which choice we made, there were pros and cons, and either way would lead to interesting events. It's not like those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books where making the "wrong" choice leads to a "dead end" ending. "In apprehending the poacher, you realize that all animals should be left in peace, and that includes the Yeti. So you return home, never discovering the truth of the Yeti."

Player choice should matter. But player choice shouldn't matter so much that making the "wrong" choice is going to ruin the story. So why get bogged down in making "optimal" choices when a "good enough" choice is going to be faster and still lead to interesting events? I'm seeing too much effort being expended to "cover our tracks" and minimize as much as possible the evil things the GM can do to us due to our overlooking some detail. Phooey. Isn't the point of the whole thing to let the GM put our characters in tough situations? Why waste time trying to make his job harder?