Social media when you’re not “social”
I segment my personal life, and I segment my online life. At one
time, I ran seven different blogs, all more or less about me. Blogs
about my Netflix experience, model rocketry, my religious views,
roleplaying games, photography and writing. I have trouble following
a catch-all blog... someone who writes about every aspect of his life
all in one spot. I may want to read about his roleplaying
experiences, but I don't care about his personal life... what he had
for dinner, how his date went, what's happening in World of Warcraft,
why his job sucks, etc. I just want to know how that roleplaying game
he's developing is coming.
Kind of like this... imagine that you pick up the newspaper to read
reviews about the latest movies. But along with the reviews, you get
all kinds of details about the reviewer's personal life, his opinions
on politics and religion, a recipe for chicken pot pie. That's not
why you went to the reviews column... you went for reviews, not for
the reviewer. And sure, you can skip all that stuff, but it takes
some time to determine which parts you actually want to read.
When I write a blog post, I am working under the assumption that I
have something worth reading. (Egotistical, I know.) That my signal
to noise ratio is high... if you want to read about a novice working
through the process of learning photography, then my photography blog
should be interesting to you. And it's focused... it's just about
photography and doesn't have a lick of religious thought in it. But
were you to read my religion blog... well, you'll see a totally
different side of me. (That blog was short-lived and is no longer on
the net, btw.)
Thing is, this new "social media," specifically Facebook and Twitter
are on my mind, are confusing that. They assume that all of my
"friends" are equal, and everything I have to say is equally
applicable to all of my "friends." There's no "family only" setting
on Twitter. No "roleplayers only" tag on Facebook. If you "friend"
or "follow" me, you get it all, and pretty much the only way to not
get it all is to completely disconnect from me.
To me, that's entirely broken. Not everyone I want to converse with
wants to converse with me at the same level and about the same things.
Twitter's driving me crazy with status updates about who's eating what
for dinner and with whom. I really don't care. I might care for two
or three people, but not the majority of the people I'm following.
And it's seriously affecting what I say. I always write for an
audience... a roleplayer audience, or a family audience, or a close
friends audience. My "audience" on Twitter doesn't fit a clear-cut
category by which I can filter my thoughts. I don't know who I'm
writing for, because I don't even know most of them, and I don't know
what their interests are.
To properly use Facebook or Twitter, I feel like I need three or four
accounts on each... my "Wichita network" account, my "roleplaying
network" account, my "local tech people" account, and so on.
Maybe it's because I'm from the world of Usenet and mailing lists... I
seek out people based on their activities. Not based on
geographic location alone (just because we live in the same city
doesn't mean we have anything meaningful in common). So I blog based on
what I do, I seek people out based on what they do, and I look for
real-life friends who are involved in the same activities I am. And
using Twitter does not count as an activity.
I suppose I'm looking for relationships, both online and offline, with
people who will enrich my life... I'm busy "doing things" (important
things!) and I'm not a big socializer. I'm the type of person who
wants one or two good friends and that's all I need in terms of
socialization. I'd much rather have coffee with one good friend than
coffee with a crowd of people I barely know. But I do want to
participate in larger communities of people who are involved in my
hobbies. I like to "talk shop".
So where do we, the old guard of Usenet and mailing lists, fit into
all this new "socialness" in which being connected seems to be more
important than to whom I'm connected or why?
I'm not really sure. I don't actually use Facebook. I have an
account because I wanted to be connected to certain people, but I've
never really even figured out how to use it in a way that's beneficial
to me.
I use Twitter quite a bit, but I haven't seen a return on the
investment of time... it's like an all-day chat about nothing
important. As I've used Twitter, I've noticed that the people I'm
most interested in getting to know better are people who have the same
interests.
I'm right on the verge of taking an axe to my friends lists on both
services, politely but firmly cutting myself off from people who are
just "social fluff" on my radar, and keeping those people who I find
really worth the time. But then I'm afraid that my "follow" list on
Twitter will be so sparse that there's no reason to be using Twitter
at all. Which might not be a bad thing.